I wasn’t kidding around on my last trip to the dispensary—I veritably loaded myself up with the motherlode of marijuana paraphernalia. It was like a scene from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, cherry-picking because everything looked so good. Before you ask, “were there edibles?” the answer to your question is, yes, duh. AbsoluteXtracts Honey Straws for the win!
Naturally, my first test was the ABX honey stick, which happened to have a good amount of THC (10 mg). A friend of mine suggested taking it with tea, with the disclaimer that a full stick might be a bit much. Here’s an exaggerated version of our conversation:
Her: It’s kind of strong.
What I heard: You’re a delicate little flower and you’re going to hallucinate like shit.
Her: You might want to try half a stick first.
What I heard: Try a drop. Oh, and you’re going to hallucinate like shit.
I work from home most days, so on this particular Monday, I decided to try a honey stick without any physical activity involved. I may or may not have had a friend come over for support. Yes, I don’t need THC to be a little paranoid.
Honey stick attempt #1. I brewed up a cup of pau d’arco tea and squeezed in maybe a quarter of a honey stick. I stirred the liquid, picking up a faint eau d’pot that paired nicely with the nutty, earthy tea aroma. I took a tentative sip after the requisite brew time, feeling electrified. I’m drinking weed! I commenced working, taking a sip here and there, trying to remain normal and at ease but wholly invested in the wait before that inevitable altered state. It didn’t come. I drank the entire cup without so much as a buzz. I was super giddy and jiggled my foot constantly, but I discounted that as a placebo of anticipation. I brewed a second cup and added a whole honey stick, feeling bold. Me adding the rest of the honey stick follows a logical pattern best described as “faulty.” Kind of like if I were to run a half-marathon for the first time, somehow do well, and then think to myself, “Hey! I can totally run a marathon tomorrow. Yea!” Courageous? Yes. Stupid? Maybe a little.
Honey stick attempt #2. I felt REALLY good. To be perfectly honest, it was like a mix between being perfectly buzzed and being one of those super happy, positive people who speak in glowing superlatives all the time and, for the most part, annoy the shit out of me when I’m 100% me. After honey stick attempt #2, I was probably 30% me, which means 70% of me is all dark criticisms and perfectionism. Jackie on THC honey listens to Jack Johnson, shrugs and smiles at deadlines like Juan Pablo from the Bachelor (“Ees okay”), smiles for no reason, talks at length about the state of her succulent and how colorful its leaves are and how it needs water but water is a precious resource also so much stream of consciousness are you keeping up?
I ended up needing an extension for a separate project, but who cares? 30% Jackie didn’t.